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kamikatlifts:

IT’S. A. FUCKING. TURTLE.

kamikatlifts:

ITโ€™S. A. FUCKING. TURTLE.

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude whoโ€™s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered โ€˜talk biblical to meโ€™ so i started reciting Psalms ย 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

sectumseverus19:

p0king-sm0t:

dolly-kitten:

SCRUB DUB DUB GOAT IN A TUB

How can you not reblog a soapy baby goat

Goats make me laugh because when they make goat noises their tongue goes out.

sectumseverus19:

p0king-sm0t:

dolly-kitten:

SCRUB DUB DUB GOAT IN A TUB

How can you not reblog a soapy baby goat

Goats make me laugh because when they make goat noises their tongue goes out.

relahvant:

best-of-memes:

this man won the internet

this guy is my hero

didyoumissme-221b:

feline-ranger:

causenotsymptom:

malformalady:

Glass headstones

Imagine a graveyard full of these on a sunny day. It would be so beautiful.

I would position mine so that every day when the sun was in the right position it would set fire to the roof of someone I hated, thus achieving revenge from beyond the grave every single day.

There are two kinds of people

didyoumissme-221b:

feline-ranger:

causenotsymptom:

malformalady:

Glass headstones

Imagine a graveyard full of these on a sunny day. It would be so beautiful.

I would position mine so that every day when the sun was in the right position it would set fire to the roof of someone I hated, thus achieving revenge from beyond the grave every single day.

There are two kinds of people

girlwhowasonfire:

deans-avenging-angel:

girlwhowasonfire:

Found a better use for the wine glasses.

That’s a martini glass.

I’m literally using it for milk and cookies does it look like I care about the finer points of debauchery.

girlwhowasonfire:

deans-avenging-angel:

girlwhowasonfire:

Found a better use for the wine glasses.

Thatโ€™s a martini glass.

Iโ€™m literally using it for milk and cookies does it look like I care about the finer points of debauchery.

gestured:

thereโ€™s this thing u should try itโ€™s called stop ignoring me

roughrimjob:

*GETS FURIOUSLY JEALOUS OVER LITTLE THINGS THAT DONT MATTER*

Stop jumping moons for people who wont cross the street for you
My mom. (via ajeebinsaan)

mydrunkkitchen:

Hey guysโ€ฆ I went to every bookstore I could find in NYC and couldnโ€™t find the book. They had heard of it and said that they had asked been asked a bunch of times todayโ€ฆ Thank you guys for all your love and support. Trust me, Iโ€™m very disappointed that a lot of the Amazon shipments are delayed and that retailers donโ€™t have copies in store. I promise that it was out of my hands and I was just as unaware as you. Hope you know that I would never encourage you guys with false info.

Our bright side is that itโ€™s gonna be avail eventually! You guys are so positive and great. Canโ€™t wait to Winestream when we all have out copies and can get quite turnt.

All my love,
Hannah

lodubimvloyaar:

Children Read To Shelter Cats To Soothe Them

(Photos byย Animal Rescue League Of Berks County. You can follow them onย Facebook.)

Also good for the kids. They encourage having slow readers read to the family pets. A dog will listen to a kid read a whole book one damn sssyl-laโ€”โ€”-ble at a time, and it will never get frustrated, or correct their pronunciation, or start playing Angry Bird because it canโ€™t stand listening to the slowness any more. The dog will look at the kid approvingly, because, human. Human is talking. Human is interacting.

So this is a great win-win.

myskinnybones:

My life